G for Gross

I don't really want to write the dreams that I had the last couple of days. I know they were longer and more interesting than what I remember, but I only remember gross parts. By the way, again, yours were really crazy and interesting. I might name my next cat Augustus. So, I still feel like I should write them down, briefly. The first was, I was staying at some fancy hotel, and had to use the bathroom, and the bathroom had about 20 stalls, and all the doors were open, and every single toilet was full of ...well, you know. Like, very full. And so I couldn't go and didn't want to pay for my hotel room and was demanding that I only pay $10 for the room. Then last night, I was at your house in the back yard, and a red-bellied woodpecker was drumming on the side of your house, and I was knocking on a shingle, and the woodpecker was answering with more drumming, and it was kind of cool. But then the woodpecker turned and stuck his back end in my direction, and there were no feathers on it, just a red, bare ass like the chicken I saw the other day. And he was huge, suddenly. And then, a very large amount of white, viscous (now that I think of it, it looked like the soup I saw someone cook the other day at work and I couldn't figure out what the fuck it was, cream of some shit) fluid came spraying out of his back end, and poured all over Emmett, and Emmett started crying. Then I was in a room with a bunch of people and everybody was eating eggs that Harrison made, all differently cooked and prepared. And I suspected he used some of that white fluid on the eggs that he was serving and I felt grossed out and glad I wasn't eating them.