Dude

So embarrassing I’m not even going to tell YOU about it. 

Why, brain? WHYYYYYY?!?!

Lots of big houses, trying to escape certain death, cats

You and I were somewhere together, in a beautiful European apartment building, or house? With an elegant curving staircase in the front.  We were both staying there, but separated, and I was walking back, feeling pressured or pursued - was someone following me? I couldn't remember the code to open the door and it was so dark. Gorgeous, well-dressed people were there, and they knew how everything worked.  

We were inside, and you wanted to borrow an outfit.  You tried on a dress and I said I have something else downstairs; let me find it.  You threw the dress back into the closet without hanging it up. I can't remember what I said, but I was trying to say "hang that up" in a funny way, and it came out in a weird racist imitation of a "black" accent.  I was mortified.  I didn't say anything and just left to look for the dress. I came back with remnants of our Halloween costumes.  You looked very confused.  I was confused.  Why had I gotten this?  

Staying in a rental house.  There were so many cats.  I was following them and ended up on the basement stairs and someone was in the basement.  He was friendly and knew Brian.  I was the only one who thought it was weird he was there.  

Floating in a sea of bodies.  We were wearing uniforms.  The "enemies" were walking amongst us, talking to each other. I wasn't sure who was alive and dead.  I was somehow moving around, like when you're on a floatie in a pool and you move just your foot or hand to gradually go in one direction.  I was trying to look dead so they'd leave me alone and I could maybe get away.  They came closer.  How were they walking when I was floating on something? Was it water? Was it guts? One pointed a gun at a body near me.  "it's female" it said to someone I couldn't see, "do you want it?"

My father had a conversation with Emmett and Matti about how he isn't going to be around much longer and he would like to experience being a great grandfather.  He didn't want to pressure them, but he felt it was a reasonable request.  They didn't have to decide right away, but please tell him by tomorrow if they were willing.  They were looking at each other the whole time and I could tell they were NOT willing.  Emmett said "okay, but I know what our answer is going to be."  I realized this was a terribly intrusive conversation to have and why had I let me Dad put them in this position?

in another eurpoean house or apartment. I was with my in-laws and husband, who were not my real life inlaws or husband.  We were dressed up, like it was the 60s, it felt very Marvelous Mrs Maysel.  My mother in law said they gave us the "sunset room", which was all the way upstairs, with lots of privacy because we were going to be having lots of sex.  While the husband and I climbed the stairs I was teasing him about all the sex we were supposed to be having because we hated each other and wanted to get divorced but he didn't want to tell his parents.  

old boyfriend and a toilet cabin

I met up with Greg at the New England aquarium, which was also a sleep away camp.  We were walking in through the entryway, which was also like the Museum of Science, and we were holding hands, and I kept hugging him.  But every time I touched or smelled him, I would have these flashbacks to being with him, and feel like I wanted to be with him.  So I kept telling him that we shouldn't touch or hold hands because it isn't fair, and they aren't real feelings anyway, they're memories, and he was just smiling at me, like "yeah, okay, you totally want me."

But then I had to go to the bathroom (of course) and the bathroom was a one-room cabin with toilets lined up along one side of the room, just right next to each other, no walls, or partitions or anything. But all the toilets had little desks in front of them, with books and magazines and activities. And someone was in charge of the bathroom and was taking notes on our bathrooming.  And it turns out everyone had bowel issues, so we needed to have this special bathroom where people could help us.  And I wanted to go back and be with my group, but I kept needing the bathroom, so I just stayed in there while everyone else had fun.

Dan Eagan stole my bird calendar/murder on the farm

We were at the Stromae show, which was in an old theater. We saw another show there first and I had to take the elevator and it kept taking me to the wrong place.  Then the show was over, but we did t get to see him and we had to leave and I wanted a national Audubon calendar I had seen in the bathroom.  It was like an advent calendar, when you opened the little door for that day it made the sound of bird song. But Dan Eagan had taken it and wouldn't give it to me.

Then at my house, only my house was bigger and nicer and down at the bottom of the hill near the garden, we found a person had been murdered. We called her Cynthia, but I don't know who she was. They just left her head and one forearm and hand on the front step.  We had no clue what had happened to her, so we asked the body or her spirit (?) to tell us what happened, and the hand pointed to something, a bag Brian had kept that had a mutilated squirrel we found.  Then we remembered someone had also done the same thing to a chicken and left it there.  We still couldn't figure out who it was.  Then it was Brian that had been murdered and I was so afraid whoever it was was going to come back for the kids or me.

Apes in my yard

There were two apes in my yard- similar to gorillas, but a little more human-like.  I was watching them from my porch, (which was over the patio and awesome!) and all of a sudden, they started freaking out and shaking the trees and making scary gorilla noises.  I grabbed my phone and was taking video until I realized Darwin was out there too, and he was getting all worked up and starting to chase them.  Then they were chasing him, and me, and I quickly slipped into the house and shut the door just as one was trying to get in behind me.  I was really scared for Darwin, and I walked over to the front door to try to get him in. Then I saw that he was already in and I was so relieved until I saw that one of the apes came in with him and was climbing up the stairs.  I said "no! Why did you let it in?" And he said (really, he was talking to me) something about the ape coming in first and Darwin couldn't get him out.  The ape seemed settled down, and Darwin was calm, too, but I was still so scared. 

Blood on the shower curtain

Jayme had  been murdered, stabbed to death.  I was so upset and confused.  Whoever cleaned up didn't clean up everything, and there was still streaks of blood in the shower, like psycho or some shit.  At some point we had identified the killer and my consciousness zoomed in on his face, like i was studying it, and he was young, and I have no idea who he is or was, my mind just MADE UP this person... he had freckles and straight brown  hair that hung kind of awkwardly.

Old one I found in my phone

This was from August 14, but I just found the note in my phone:

Making out with Tom cruise in a carnival ride (like salt and pepper shaker.  I wasn't scared, even though I wasn't sure how to stop the ride). 

Went to dinner with friends, had no clothes. Wasn't really concerned that I didn't have any clothes on, didn't feel embarrassed or exposed or anything, but I did feel like I was making other people uncomfortable with my nakedness.  Finally left to find clothes and Greg L followed me.  Taking on the way back, walking through LA/upstate New York? He said its so beautiful up here I just want to buy a house near Binghamton.  I said don't you live in Syracuse?

Feeding wildlife

I was driving at night and saw a bunch of injured animals.  They were all huddled together on a blanket on the side of the road.  I had raw steak in my car (?), so I tried feeding them, but they wouldn't take the meat from me.  Then the guy I was with started giving them raw hamburger and they were taking it.  I started giving everyone pieces of steak, and I was happy they were eating, but then they started getting aggressive about getting the food, surrounding me and snapping and stuff, and I was afraid they were going to attack me.  All of a sudden I realized it was a stupid idea to go into a mob of wild animals with a bunch of raw meat.